Vajazzling

OK, it's been a long time since I have written an @ Random post, and I guess I was waiting for something non-food to come along that would really get me worked up. Well, I think I found it...

That subject, my friends, is the trend of "vajazzling." Apparently, merely shaving, waxing, or dying the lady bits is no longer enough. No, the cool thing to do now is to glue crystals to it...or so the world was told by Jennifer Love Hewitt, who felt the need to tell the world that she does it. And now, apparently, it has become quite the trend to turn your pink taco of love into something resembling a flesh version of Elton John's eyeglasses.

People, I love the bling. I am distracted by shiny, sparkly things as much as anyone. I am the owner of many large rings (yes, that is mine in the picture, and yes, it is real). However, I have never felt the need to take the bedazzler "below the equator" and make myself look like a denim jacket circa 1982.

Really, how the hell does this work in the real world?

What do you do if the crystals start to flake off at a really inopportune time? Do you, sort of like Hansel & Gretel leaving a trail of breadcrumbs through the forest, leave a trail of glitter through your own little forest? And speaking of "special moments," assuming you are rocking the bling during one of them, does it act like pubic Velcro? Think about that one -- do you and your amour become Siamese twins, eternally linked together by a common Brillo pad? Yeah, not so hot.

And while we're on this topic, assuming that the crystals don't flake off (via friction or lack of glue), what really does happen when the sod on the lower forty starts coming in? That can't possibly lead to anything good. Imagine you're at work and it starts to itch...it's not like there's any way of dealing with it that is even remotely polite or socially acceptable. "Excuse me, I have to go scratch...got vajazzled like a month ago... yeah, the berries are falling from the bush, y'know how it is..."

I just want to know how bored the person who came up with this was -- and how did they convince people to pay them to get it done? (And why do I never come up with such profitable ideas?!) If I suggested this to my best friend, he would smack me upside the head! Seriously...did they just have way too many of those little cell phone jewels and entirely too much free time, or what?

Just no. Hell no.

Gigi is willing to do a lot of things, but this is not one of them.

Moon Sand

Moon Sand has got to be one of the coolest new toys out there.
I had never even heard of the stuff until my Nephew- who we will call Monkey Boy because it amuses me- asked for some for Christmas (well, he asked for a lot of things. I actually believe he thinks my name is Auntie Iwant)

Moon Sand is kinda like Playdough except it never gets hard and it looks and feels like play sand. You can mold it using pretty much anything (and they have about 9 bizillion mold sets out. We went old school and used stuff from around the house). In a day and age where there is a video game or web site to do anything you could possibly want or imagine it was a really simple and basic toy, I think that's what I liked about it. It was just fun and all you had to do was open the package and go.

And to Monkey Boy's delight Auntie Iwant has now decided we need more sand...